turtle.

Think about snapping turtles. They were the bogeymen of the lakes and rivers where you'd go swimming as a kid, and with good reason: Even the common snapping turtle can lop off a finger with its powerful jaws. Many of us had a school friend who'd tell a story about a cousin or a bunkmate at summer camp who lost a digit or two to a belligerent snapping turtle. The surly fellow in this video is not a common snapping turtle; it's an alligator snapping turtle, which is an appropriately terrifying name for these behemoths. Watch it instantly rip a healthy chunk out of that melon, rind and all. Now imagine that melon is your arm or leg. You've got a little more than just fingers to worry about ...

Cats are doing it. Dogs are doing it. Even seals are doing it. And now chickens are doing it. Tortoises: The official vehicle of the animal kingdom ...

Yesterday we featured a video of a turtle owner comically pretending to scream at his turtle in a fit of rage. Even though the video was obviously tongue-in-cheek and no turtles were emotionally abused in its making, we still felt a little bit guilty about laughing. It was funny, but we just wish there had been a happy ending to it. We wanted to see the turtle get a treat of some sort, at least. So it is in that spirit that we now present this video of a pet turtle being served the best treat of all: Pie! ...

It's not necessarily unusual for many pet owners (OK, cat owners) to feel like their animals sometimes act cold, distant or ungrateful. But this turtle owner seems to be coming unhinged. Take it easy, man! How much engagement can you really expect from "some sort of reptilian mammal that looks like a cupcake"? (Science!) To be fair, though, that turtle does seem very emotionally withholding. What happens when you try to bond with it, try to get close to its heart? ACCESS IS DENIED! ...

It starts with standing on hind legs, and before you know it, you've got a bunch of teenage mutant ninjas on your hands. ...

The Star Wars Pets saga continues, now with turtle Jedis getting in on the lightsaber dueling action in place of kittens. Turtles may not be as classically cute as kittens, but they can more than hold their own when it comes to wielding the Force. You may be saying to yourself, "Yeah, right! As if a turtle has the physical capability to fight with a lightsaber." But didn't we all doubt the physicality of Master Yoda for 20 years before he absolutely trucked Count Dooku in 'Attack of the Clones'? So it is with these turtles. For their ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. ...