tortoise.
When I was in college, I didn't join a fraternity and I never went on a panty raid. But I feel like I've learned pretty much all that I need to know about life from Hollywood movies, so I think I have a handle on how a panty raid should work. Basically, the name of the game is speed. You get in, you grab some underwear, and you get out. It's a snatch 'n' grab; there's no time for lollygagging. That's why I'm not sure a tortoise is the best man for the job. You know how in every heist flick, the leader of the gang of thieves assigns a job to each person based on his or her special skills? Well whoever was in charge of this caper definitely messed up this part of the operation. Too slow! ...
You'd think that whenever Teddy Bear shows up, it would sate our obsession with animal noms. But the truth is that the opposite occurs. We want to see more noms. With that in mind, here's a super dramatic time-lapse video of a tortoise eating a pile of salad. Why time-lapse? Because tortoises are slow, dummy! You don't have all day to watch this and neither do we. Also, because time-lapse is just cooler than regular-lapse. That's a science fact. ...
Peter Velenský, Prague Zoo Which species was Baby New Year this year? Oh what, you thought BNY could only be human? Please! The title is up for grabs, and whichever species births its offspring first when the clock strikes 12:00 is the winner. So who took it in 2012? Leopard tortoises! Zooborns reports that the Prague Zoo in Czech Republic welcomed a hatching of six baby leopard tortoises right at the balldrop this year. Technically, three of the tortoises were born before the stroke of midnight and three after, but it doesn't seem fair not to count them all, and besides, we can't tell them apart anyway. These fellas may be teeny tiny as newborns, but that won't last. Leopard tortoises ...
Meet Kevin. Kevin is a baby sulcata tortoise, and he just loves tomatoes. Unfortunately, Kevin also seems to have very poor depth perception, so it makes eating his favorite snack something of a project. He's having a real hard time getting a mouthful of that food, but he's not about to quit anytime soon. He's a tortoise, after all. He has all the time in the world, and knows the old proverb, "Slow and steady wins the tomato." ...
Cats are doing it. Dogs are doing it. Even seals are doing it. And now chickens are doing it. Tortoises: The official vehicle of the animal kingdom ...
Do you guys remember that epic frog video from a couple of weeks ago? My heart was in my throat for days from all of the drama there. I'm still reeling, frankly. But just as I'm finally starting to catch my breath and achieve some sense of normality in my life, along comes the epic tortoise to start the process all over again. Warning: intensity ahead. ...