"Oh god, this is so humiliating. I don't remember anything that happened last night. Why do I do this to myself? Maybe the girls are right. Maybe I do have a problem. I always tell myself I just want to unwind a little bit after a long and stressful day laying eggs. But what happens? I lose control, black out again, and the next thing I know I wake up in my nest incubating a puppy. Ugh, I can feel Marjorie's judgmental stare burning into the back of my head right now. Like she's some kind of saint? Everyone else has to pick up her slack because she's too busy flirting with Darryl every morning to look after her own eggs. 'Oh Darryl, your crowing this morning was so sonorous and powerful. Oh Darryl, what perfect start to the day your call gives Farmer Willis. Oh Darryl, you look so majestic sitting on that fence post." What a phony she is! Like she can judge me just because I came home with a dog last night."
via Buzzfeed
Time-Lapse Tortoise Noms Salad
