dog tricks.

Look at this dog balancing on that chain like that. That's amazing. How does a dog have that kind of patience? How does it find its center of gravity? How much training did this take? Yesterday when I was making breakfast, I bent down to pick up something on the floor and I whacked my head against the counter, yet here's a dumb ol' dog balancing itself on an unsteady, swinging chain. Oh my god, it's on its hind legs now? That's just showing off. ...

Have you ever watched very old Olympics footage and thought, "Wow, this sport has progressed so far over the years that it's inconceivable that this performance impressed anybody." I mean, records are records, but you could basically win a figure-skating medal back in the day by skating backward and waving at the same time. This isn't the case here. If you think the kind of tricks dogs were pulling off in the 1930s couldn't be anything to write home about. Assuming this video is for real, Micky is basically the Michael Jordon of dog jumping. Just look at the mutt fly! ...

Meanwhile, in Mother Russia... What does your dog fetch? Your slippers? The newspaper? Big whoop. That's bush league tricks. Why doesn't your dog fetch your drinks for you? Not to play into stereotypes, but these rugged Ruskies don't mess around on their hunting trips. We're sure that dog is great at fetching ducks or whatever game its master is hunting, but it has a more important job to do, namely keeping him warm with their country's signature spirit. Don't forget the vermouth, Fido. ...

Sometimes when my cat is giving herself a bath, and I call her name to get her attention at the right moment, she'll look at me mid-lick and forget to put her tongue back in her mouth. I find this hilarious every time. And though she often leaves her tongue hanging out for several long seconds, all my attempts to photograph it or call it to anyone else's attention have failed; she always manages to retract the tongue at the last second. This video makes me wish cats were as trainable as dogs, and that I had the apparent patience of this border collie's owner. I wouldn't have to wait for the right tongue-wagging moment to try to snap a picture, only to fail once again. I could get my cat to ...

Oh, your dog can catch a Frisbee in its mouth? Big whoop! Every dog in the world can catch a Frisbee or a ball in its mouth. That's what dogs do. If your dog can't catch anything in its mouth, your dog is a failure. Catching stuff in the mouth is a baseline trick for dogs. You start from there and work your way up. Take Purin, the beagle in this video, for example. His Japanese owner trained him to catch a ball with its paws. Like a human. Can your dog do that? ...Oh, it can? Yatta! ...

quin.anya, Flickr Meet Mary Burch, American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen Director and Paw Nation's expert columnist addressing your questions on animal behavior. Dr. Burch has over 25 years of experience working with dogs, and she is one of fewer than 50 Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists based in the United States. She is the author of 10 books, including the new official book on the AKC Canine Good Citizen Program, "Citizen Canine: 10 Essential Skills Every Well-Mannered Dog Should Know." My dog, Butch, is a 10-year-old mutt. I never got around to teaching him very many tricks, though he can sit on command. Can I really teach my senior dog new things? I think it would be nice ...