Cats Are Jerks, and They Don't Even Like Us

the daily dish More on PawNation: Behavior, Cats

Science taught us a lot of new things about cats in 2013, but it's not necessarily all good news. There's much scientific evidence that appears to reinforce an idea we hate to admit: Cats don't really seem to like humans very much.

Sorry, But Your Cat Is Actually A Total Jerk. It's Just Science.


As much as we love our feline friends and dote on them at every turn, research shows that they see us as annoying roommates at best, not nurturing figures. In fact, the more we love up on them, the more annoyed they are with us. A study released last fall revealed that cats may not even like being petted. Oh, well, sorry for being such a bother to you, cats.



It's not like cats can't understand us. We know that they understand us; they simply choose to ignore us. Again, this is cold, hard science. A study from the University of Tokyo last month demonstrated that cats recognize their owners' voices, but ignore them almost all of the time. On purpose. Because they'd rather just not be bothered with us if they can help it.

That is, when they're not outright biting us, or trying to steal from us. Jerks.

And did we mention that cats are basically mass murderers? Last year, biologists announced that domestic cats kill up to 3.7 billion birds and as many as 20.7 billion mice and other small mammals each year in the U.S. alone. It's no joke. The killing is out of control. It's a real threat to ecosystems.

We just don't hear about many other animal lovers worrying about whether their pets are bullies, or even if they're evil by nature.

Here's the rub: This doesn't change how we feel about cats. We still love our cats. If anything, a feline's strong personality makes us love them even more. Call us suckers for abuse, but we kind of respect their unflinching dignity and lack of compromise. It may not make a lot of sense, but then, any cat lover will tell you that this cat lifestyle is full of paradoxes.

You are too much for us, cats. We wish we knew how to quit you.

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Anne Leighton

PLEASE DELETE THIS ARTICLE.

I've called your offices and requested this be eliminated due to the fact this was stlen from a Huffington Post piece and that it is misleading.

Why is this web site unresponsive to readers?

January 18 2014 at 7:08 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
troublesniffer

Folks- this is "tongue in cheek" - although I must say that the humor is in very poor taste. But this is NOT real- it is just what some author thought was humorous and a joke.

I guess Huff Post may not know how disturbing this type of "humor" can be- maybe a disclaimer would have been wise .. so comments could point in the direction of what the article really was.. I

January 16 2014 at 10:16 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
j&b

if that is so...why is human smell on my cats balls?

January 15 2014 at 12:33 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
byt2luv

I certainly hope this was suppose to be a tongue in cheek article but it REALLY rubs me the wrong way and I think if I were this persons cat Id ignore them to because they really don't have anything intelligent to say and like to add to misinformation. Well meaninged or not this article does a great DISSERVICE to all cats and it should be REMOVED. Its hard enough getting the truth out there without PawNation adding to the horrible stereotypes and misperceptions. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you really do have any care for animals remove this horrible article. It really isn't funny at all.

January 14 2014 at 12:51 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
jdollinter

It took me two years to gain the trust of a small black female cat the neighbors neglected and abandoned when they moved out. Once I got her to come inside and tolerate my other cats she became my cat and loyally slept outside my bedroom door every night and always got up to check on me when I went into the bathroom. For someone to make these generalization about cats hating us or being mass killers is just bogus nonsense. At one point I had 5 indoor /outdoor fixed cats and over a year I only found 2 dead mice in our yard.
I\'m certain cats not trained to hunt by their Mothers can lose that instinct especially after being neutered and as they age. Will reckless stories like this encourage more women to
give the family cat to the pound when they become inconvenient?

January 13 2014 at 12:06 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
stewart_clark1

I had three cats very well taken care of and very mean. I got them as kittens my family was very nice and gentle with them so they should of been friendly cats not so, when we tried to pet them or pick them up they would try to bite us taking them to the vet regularly was a chore. After three years of this nonsense we gave them to a caring family the family had the very same problem with them so they gave them to a place that works with cats and keeps them til they can be adopted. In a round about way the story has some truth about Cats Are Jerks, some but not all.

January 12 2014 at 8:49 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
troublesniffer

This article is SATIRE- A series of articles on the subject of "Cats are Jerks" can be found on Huffington Post. It is not to be taken seriously..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/19/jerk-cats-love-knocking-sht-over_n_3942685.html

January 12 2014 at 5:57 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
adorabspet1

Lies! My kitten Frisky loves me! She comes when I call, and she sleeps on my bed, curled up next to me. This research may be untrue. And some of my friends have cats who behave like mine.

January 12 2014 at 1:30 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
Libby

Mr. Paul Ciampanelli, thanks for your opinion. If this is an sample of your humor, I won\'t be buying tickets to your shows, nor reading anymore of your wit. I\'m very sorry to hear you have a cat. Unfortunately, this article is written as if there is some science backing it up. The Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute study is flawed in the extreme; the numbers are based on assumptive estimates. And yet you quote it as if it\'s fact. \"The study goes on to speculate that free-ranging cats could kill 258 million to 822 million reptiles and 95 million to 299 million amphibians annually.\" Speculate. Could. I don\'t want to know how to quit cats, but I surely know how to quit Pawnation. Pawnation isn\'t where I\'ll be going for information from now on, since this isn\'t information nor is it amusing.

January 12 2014 at 12:33 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
Mr. Dudeman

This is the most ridiculous article ever written about cats. There is no proof, just mention of a study proving this. Humans are the worst serial killers on the planet. Cats don't kill for pleasure like humans. The fact that you compared them to serial killers is ridiculous. They kill to eat and survive. How is that serial killing?

January 12 2014 at 5:00 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
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