The Teacher's Pets

BROWN WET NOSER 

"Bet you haven't ever given your teacher an apple balanced on your head. Instant brownie points on the first day, for sure." 

ANIMAL EXCUSES 

"Has your teacher ever heard of a cat clawing your homework?" 

AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING 

"I love science, except when I'm part of the experiment." 

SAGE OLD OWL 

"In this concept, mass is a property of all energy, and energy is a property of all mass, and the two properties are connected by a constant. Phillip, pop quiz: What am I talking about?" 

TWIN BITES

"We picked the same apple? Great minds think alike." 

FRUSTRATED FELINE 

"Calculus is stupid." 

FOUR-EYED, FOUR-LEGGED 

"If only I liked carrots more. Harumph!" 

CALCULATING CANINE

"A dog buries two bones under his porch every day. He consumes three bones per week. How many bones does he have at the end of the month?"

PURR-ROOF READER 

"Charlie, can you get me my red pen? I need to mark the crap out of your essay." 

BOOKWORM

"These are all of the books I read this summer. I know it makes the other students look bad, but I can't help that I'm more advanced." 

FIDO AT FAULT 

"This wasn't your final draft, was it?" 

TESTY TOAD TEACHER 

"Taxpayers, where is your money going? Not to my new-and-shiny-whiteboard fund, that's for sure." 

LIFE LESSONS 

"Who needs school? The only lesson you need to know is 'cats rule, dogs drool.'"