Smoochin' Seals Released Back to the Ocean

By Paul Ciampanelli Jun 13th 2011

"OK guys, you all know why we're here. 'Wildlife Rehab: Back to the Ocean, Part II: Penguin Edition' was an enormous box-office hit this weekend, making back twice its budget and leaving its competition in the dust. People can't get enough of movies about recently rehabilitated sea animals being released back into their natural habitat. Who knew? In any case, the franchise shows no signs of slowing down, so we gotta come up with a screenplay for the third movie in the series, and we need to start now."

"Here's what I'm thinking: Audiences were ready to accept a sequel that featured virtually the exact same plot as the first film, but with a different animal. I don't think they're going to settle for that again the next time though, do you? So here's what we do. We bring back the seal from the first movie! Only this time, we have a seal who's a little older, a little more mature and--here's the brilliant bit--he's got a love interest! Yes! Romance is the only thing the 'Wildlife Rehab' series has had missing so far! 'Wildlife Rehab: Back to the Ocean, Part III: Seals in Love.' Or something like that. I dunno, we can think of a better title later. Just start churning out that script. The faster we get this baby on the screen, the faster we all make a lot more money."