Doggie Diaries: Our Furry Vacuum Cleaner

Feb 25th 2010

My wife Anna and I had no idea. Turns out that when we acquired our puppy, we also received a Hoover upright free of charge! Our canine vacuum will consume almost anything within reach, including food we've dropped on the floor, socks, underwear, snow and even part of our down comforter. Yesterday, inexplicably, she wolfed down a wad of paper towels. A few days before that, she chewed up my favorite wooden stirring spoon. Perhaps the worst offense was when Pippi obliterated one of Anna's notebooks. It had been full of information Anna needed at the office, and required her to explain to her boss that our dog literally ate her homework. "I felt like such a moron," she says.

Perhaps we should count our blessings. After all, since the great diarrhea incident of early February, Pippi hasn't consumed anything that has aggravated her stomach. Also, she tends to stay away from the furniture and, of course, hasn't nipped any people.

And yet it's expensive to replace and replenish household items and foodstuffs, and we worry about Pippi's well being. Surely bits of wood can't be particularly conducive to digestive-tract health. For this conundrum we turn to you readers. We've been doing our best to keep potentially edible items out of her reach, but beyond that, what can we do? How do we ensure that young Pippi doesn't find herself at the vet with, say, an eggbeater in her stomach?

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