Flickr/Paul-W
"We can help people to talk about their loss," says Cheryl Weber, who runs the Companion Animal Related Emotions (C.A.R.E.) Pet Loss Helpline (877-394-CARE) at the University of Illinois Veterinary Teaching School. The hotline receives calls from all over the country, and helps pet owners deal with their heartbreak. "It's important for people to reach out to someone who can understand, and we do. When it comes to a pet, not everybody has a large support group. That's where we can help with compassion," Weber says.
As part of the grieving process, Weber suggests that you memorialize your pet such in any number of different ways:
- Make a donation to your local animal shelter in your pet's name.
- Hold a memorial ceremony.
- Keep the pets toys and other belongings in a memory box.
- If your pet was cremated, keep some of its ashes in cremation jewelry.
- If you have children, suggest that they draw a picture, or write a poem or story about the pet.
Consider the age of the mourner when choosing ways to memorialize an animal. While a young child may find solace in putting together a scrapbook, a teenager may find aid in an online chatroom or discussion board. Seniors may want to join a pet loss support group in their city, where they can remember their pet by sharing stories with other mourners. Your veterinarian should be a good source for any such local groups.
There are countless ways to memorialize the beloved animal you've lost. Doing so can help you keep your cherished memories alive. For a state-by-state list of pet-loss support groups, grief counselors, cemeteries and crematoriums, visit pet-loss.net.
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Hi,
First of all I would like to appreciate you for your dedication and hard work. You deserve to be proud of your achievement. May your future efforts be equally successful and rewarding. You are a good example of how commitment and hard work pay off. I am sure your husband, who has been your chief support, must be very proud of you.
I have lost two cherished cats. The first one was a beautiful Maine Coon that I had for 21 years. I had her cremated and have her ashes in an antique tobacco humidor. I also wrote a poem for her the night before I had her euthanized. I made it into a cross-stitch needlepoint to which I added her picture over a tuft of her fur before framing. The other was a beautiful Persian that I rescued from a shelter. I only had her for 11 months before I had to have her euthanized for brain cancer. I buried her in the backyard and placed a metal tub over her. I filled it with potting soil and planted lots of flower bulbs in it. Then I inserted a shepherd's hook and hung a birdhouse on it. On the roof of the birdhouse I took gold paint and wrote "Miss Febe's Garden" because she loved to look out the window at the birds at the feeder. Now, in the Spring and early Summer I will be able to look out the window and see Febe's garden and remember the joy she brought into my life, if only for a short while. Cuddles will always have her own little shrine in my home.
Memorializing and celebrating a pet's life is a very necessary part of the grieving process. If we stay stuck in the sorrow, our hearts essentially close themselves off to ever loving again. I believe we best honor our beloved furry (or feathered, finned, etc.) family members by letting them know we actually learned about unconditional love from them while they were with us. A wonderful way to show this is by adopting another animal—when the time is right and once the most intensely painful emotions have been worked through.
I am an animal chaplain who works with people to help them prepare for and cope with the loss of a pet. In my book "Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss," I have an entire chapter devoted to ideas of how to memorialize our friends. The form that takes is unique to the individual. I know of people who have shelled out tens of thousands of dollars to have a diamond created from their pet's ashes, but the cost behind the memorial is irrelevant. Whatever you do, whether it be write a letter to your pet, light a candle and look over photos, sing a song, paint a picture, whatever..., the purpose is to say thank you and reiterate how much you loved that animal. Though grief never is completely gone, it can abate after such a ritual.
I encourage anyone who is facing a pet loss to start commemorating important moments with your pet every single day he or she is still with you. Start the celebrating-the-now ritual today and let it carry you through the actual loss. It's part of the many life lessons our pets teach us, to value each and every moment as it comes.
I JUST lost a DEAR pet last Tuesday and I am HAVING a HARD time letting go of HER. PLEASE HELPME!!!!!!!!!!!! She wa my precious baby. I had her for 13 years since she was 6 weeks old. MY Dear Mileena.
I cried everyday over polar beary's loss for about a year. He was one of my white border collies who got out when I was taken to the hospital. He was killed on I95. We fetched his body and burried him in the back. I love my dog people and they love me. Dogs are where you can kick off the learning of or the art of learning to love people, since it is a harder acomplishment to achieve.
I had to have my 18 year old cat put to sleep in january of 09 I still cry for her.She was my mothers cat and became mine after mom passed away.I had her cremated and have her ashes in my living room right next to her first mommy one day I am going to take their ashes and put them in the ocean in the outer banks of north carolina that is where my mother wanted her ashes and Iam sure she would want missy there with her.
i got lost hearing dog last monday early moring and my hubby found him then he woke me up and his name is coco is frozen in my office and i was so crying allllll week and i cant without him and he is so sweet hearing dog and smart
it's so sad:( :( :(
I HOPE ALL OF YOU FIND PEACE, KNOWING YOUR FRIENDS ARE STILL WATCHING OVER YOU.
KEEP THE FAITH,
JANN AND JON