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Accept your feelings
People often feel that the death of a pet is somehow insignificant or less important than the death of a loved one. Comments such as, "Oh, he just lost his dog" are common. When coping with a pet's death, however, you must acknowledge the deep grief and profound sense off loss that you feel. Coming home to a quiet house or seeing a pet's empty bed can trigger feelings of sadness. Do not be afraid to accept and express these negative emotions even when others many see them as trivial.
Help children cope
The death of a pet can be a traumatic experience for children, and long bouts of illness or euthanasia can be even harder for kids to understand. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) recommends having a memorial service to allow children to honor and remember the pet: "Sitting down with the family and sharing memories of your pet can make your children sad – but it can make them laugh, too, and will help your child understand that everyone is feeling the loss as well."
Acknowledge that the grief may linger
Many people expect that the mourning process for a pet's death will be relatively short. Many times, however, the grief tends to linger for months or even years. Mark Ingram, a military service member who lost his dog in 2005, says, "I never really got over Harley's death. I got used to it and learned to deal with it, but it hasn't gone away. I think about him all the time."
Expect behavior changes in other pets
Surviving pets may display behavior changes or even refuse to eat or drink when a companion dies. Moira Anderson Allen, author of "Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet" and former editor of "Dog Fancy" magazine notes, "You may need to give your surviving pets a lot of extra attention. If you are going to introduce a new pet, your surviving pets may not accept the newcomer right away."
Don't get a new pet too soon
Allowing a sufficient grief period to adjust to the loss of a pet is important. Many people rush into getting a new pet in an attempt to fill the void. They often end up comparing the new pet to the deceased one, however, and are unable to form fresh bonds and appreciate the new pet in its own right. Veterinarian Jeff Feinman says, "Some pet owners find great comfort in acquiring a new pet soon after the loss of another. Others, however, become angry at the suggestion of another pet."
Once you have adjusted to the loss of your pet and you are ready to move forward, take your time selecting a new companion. Remember that this is not a replacement, but a new friend who needs a loving home, and you're sure to have years of happiness together.
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As we all know, it is so hard to say goodbye to our "children". And most people don't get over losing them. Like they said, you cope and you get used to it but we never get over it. I am coming up on the 1 year annv of my cat, Sneakers passing away. She was 16 when she went and I have never gotten over losing her. Some people think its crazy but I have had my pets cremated so I will have them forever. There is NOTHING in the world like the bond between us and our pets, even death can't break it.
I know exactly how you feel. It's been about 18 months since we had to put our 21-year-old cat "So Sue Me" to rest. She was a great cat and I still miss her and occassionally think I see her out of the corner of my eye around the house. I even think the dogs missed her and looked for her in her favorite spots for a while after she was gone. My pets are like my children and love them just the same. Don't even want to imagine life without my two big doggers and hope I don't have to for quite some time.
My cat Kandee is 10 and I dread the day she leaves me. We're very close. Wherever I am she is not far behind. I hope I have many more years with her. Upon her death I will have her creamated and she will be burried with me upon my passing.
My 16 yr old orange tabby, Hercules, had a stroke last week. Within a few days I knew that I'd have to say goodbye. I was putting him in his carrier to take him to the vet. He looked up at me and talked. When I arrived at the vet, Hercules had died, probably when he spoke to me that last time.
My heart it broken without my Herc. Coming home to an empty house is awful without Hercules greeting me. Rest in peace, my Hercules Kitten Kat. Berber loves you.
I am so sorry to hear about your kitty, it is so hard, (sorry for any typos as I have one of my cats helping me type right now!) I have 3 cats but I have that one "special" one Tyson who acts more like a dog than a cat. I feeel your pain on losing your beloved kitty, I dread the day I have to have Tyson or my other 2 taken to be put to rest. We had to have our 14 yr old Black lab "chelsie" put down & that was almost 4 years ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of her, I have pictures of her all over my house she like Tyson was the one "special" pet you get in your life. Just know that there are pet owners out there who do understand what you are going through and wish you well while you greive the loss of your baby. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers and hope that it gets easier for you everyday, but never let yourself forget that special pet. Just know that when he spoke to you that last time he was telling you he loved you and thanking you for thelove & great life that you had given him! I wish you the best in 2010! Hope the greiving is getting a bit easier day by day! God bless you and Hercules and just know you now have a kitty angel looking over you and prtecting you!
I know how you feel. It has been just over a week since I said goodbye to my Beloved Missy. She was fighting and winning her battle with CRF but something happened and she suddenly was in SUCH pain and I had to let her go.
I cannot stop crying I miss her SO! Times I wish I could die too!
I lost my beloved Rico in 2005. He was 16 & i still grief for him to this very day. He was a WONDERFUL little guy & somestimes i still think i feel him jumping in the bed w/ me. I have a Beautiful & sweet little guy now. His name is Coco. He has helped to heal my heart.
We had to have our beloved 14 year old black lab "Chelsie" put to sleep almost 4 years ago, I went in while they did it, I still wonder today if I made the right decision, I just could not bare the thought of her being in a room with strangers in her final moments, so I went in and sat on the floor with her and held her telling her it will be ok knowing it was best for her she had a tumor on her neck the vet had missed and it swelled up Friday, she stopped eating and Monday morning we had to put her down, it was my parents dog but I called the vet begging them not to do it until I could get there as I wanted to say my goodbyes ( I don't live with my parents but I grew up with Chelsie) They waited until I got there and when I saw how awfull she looked I knew it was the right thing to do as hard as it was for me, so I sat there holding her they gave her the tranqulizer and she calmed down and just laid in my lap she kept trying to raise her head and give me kisses, but I just kept reassuring her she would be fine, the vet came in to give the final shot and could not find her vein so he had to shave her then give the shot, while I was still holding her, it was awful, I felt her life slip away, they then confirmed she had passed but left her in my lap for 15 minutes, at this point I did not want to have my dead dog in my lap any longer, I was 30 years old and crying my eyes out they finally took her from my lap and carried her to my Mom's vehicle where we then took her home and my Dad (whos dog she mainly was but he could not force himself to go with us) had been digging a hole to bury her and all her favorite toys in, he kept digging because he did not want to have to say his final goodbye as I had to do that day, he dug the hole about 8 feet and placed her in the hole and cried as he covered up the hole, we bought her a gravestone that says" dogs leave paw prints on your heart" which could not be more true, we also went and bought a beautiful lilac bush (purple/white sriped, never seen one like it before or since) and planted it on her burial plot and put her grave marker threre and I still cry like a baby everytime i go see it. I have pictures of her on my desk and I made my Dad a collage of different "Chelsie" pictures and he cried when I gave it to him. he has kept many of her tennis balls as they were her favorite. They have not gotten another dog as I don't think another dog could ever live up to the great dog Chelsie was, but I know my Dad has not fully healed from losing her so maybe in time he will get another but right now he knows is not the right time.
I have 3 cats and I have that one "special one" Tyson who is so in tune with his Mom he knows just what I need and when I need it, I am greeted by a daily headbutt, and he will stand behind me while I am typing and nibble at my arm as if to say hey I am right here he aslo give me very gentle kitty kisses (sometimes they get a litle rough but I don't think he means them to its just their tounge) ! My other 2 cats I have don't care about me unless they don't have enough food in there bowl or want treats so I still love them and don't want anything to ever happen to them but if I lost my Tyson it would be like losing my child! I love all animals and wish that they could live as long as we do that way we would never have to experience the grief of losing one of our babies!
Your post about Chelsie brought tears to my eyes. I reminded me of the day that I had to say goodbye to my bichon, Fluffy. It is never easy. Take care and remember all the good times. My heart and prayers are with you and your family
I had the most beautiful white Lab, Daisy for 11 years. I had to put her down due to congestive heart failure...she started to cough and gasp for air and even my Dad called me and stated, "I wasn't doing that dog any favors keeping her alive." I had done all I could to prolong her life. I had worked for the Vet she continued going to through the first sign of her illness. He put her down after a shot to relax her I massaged her and told her seepies now as she kept her paws on my leg...she looked up once groggily and then the final injection took her from me. She never knew I left her side....I took her collar off she never had to wear one at my house I had bought her this house for the wonderful yard and shade trees.For her 10th birthday I bought her a 2 year old australian blue heeler Lab mix, Diamond. They were best friends for three years. I still have him. He would not come out from under the house for days when I did not bring Daisy home. A German Shepherd was dropped off outside my house in the street and I adopted her, Princess and slowly Diamond resurfaced in the yard. THey were friends. BUT I had to see a yellow Lab in my yard searched the Animal Control sites and found one the same place and same age Daisy was when I adopted her. I now also have Rose our delight! She is looking more like Daisy everyday...I have Daisy's ashes and have since lost my Dad...I cherish life. I allow myself to grieve and grieve I drive by the park everyday where she and I walked. I have her pictures all over the house and I had taken several for years...It helps. I pray GOD let's us all reunite. Daisy and I had many rescue cats in our day..I wrote on her plaque Daisy Loved By All Rest in Peace Good Dog. She was my heart. Now I just carry on the work of saving as many as I can. I am happy to look where she was in my house and yard. It helps and I doubt I would ever move..Rest In Peace I thank God for her protection and love through the years.
I know how you feel, I had to put two dogs down in 2008, May 27 my mixed Lab Chewy he was 12 had a tumor in his lung and then 5 months later I had to put down my mixed border collie we called him Mut-Mutt and he was great dog, he was 17 and was not able to walk and had a heart condition. I have their ashes and because they loved the water so much, when I pass away my much younger cousin will spread our ashes in the Keys with the dolphins. I live in south Florida. I did get another dog within two weeks after I put the first one down, I had too and she has been great and has been a great comfort for me. Without question I thing of my two dogs every day and miss them a lot, but you have to move on, but it does hurt. I have two cats also and my older one who spent 5 years with my dogs shown signs that he missed them also, he was not acting right for about 2 weeks, did not eat for 2 days and when he did it wasn't much and then after I got the new dog and within a few weeks they became buddies, made me feel good. God Bless all of Our Pets.
I understand your feelings. Your story brought tears to my eyes, as if I need any help in that area. I grieve for my Randy Mac Freckles, who we had for 17 1/2 years as though it happened yesterday. We all knew the end was near for at least a year but I could not say goodbye. My husband would cut out holes (for his tail to fit) in diapers for him to wear because he could no longer hold himself. I refused to give him up. Looking back it made him lose his dignity and I swear I would never do that again. The day we were to take him to be put down my husband stayed home from work to be with him and I was beside myself. My three sons made sure they were home from work and school just to be there before we left. My middle son found a beautiful poem and they read it to him before we left. We then drove to the vet with him on my lap. I swore I would put him down the day he stopped eating and two days prior my son returned home and called me to tell me he wouldn't eat, so we made the call together. Now as he sat on my lap, he looked like he wanted to move and walk, even though he probably couldn't see much or stand and I wondered if I was doing the right thing. My vet assured me it was definitely time. My husband left the room during the procedure but I remained. I swore to him mommy would never leave him. When it was done my husband came back. We cried for what seemed like hours. We woke in the middle of the night at the same time and cried again. We thought we could never go through it again.
It was two days before Christmas when he passed and we decided in August, with my youngest son that maybe we were ready. We found a Cavalier King Charles, KC, and he is a joy. At first it was hard for me to accept it all, but he is our pride and joy. Randy was cremated and EVERY night I turn on the night light under him and tell him "Mommy, loves you and misses you" and EVERY morning I turn it off the same way. I cry for him all the time and tell KC about him. I think he understands, lol
I lost my baby eight months ago, and I'm still mourning. He was only nine and died of a heart attack. I'm facing the loss of another one. It's so hard, but I wouldn't change my life with either of them (or their brothers and sisters) for anything.
I lost my baby eight months ago. He was only nine, and he died of a heart attack. I'm still feeling the loss. I'm also facing the loss of another one. But I wouldn't trade my time with either of them or their brothers and sisters for anything in the world. Each of my cats is a "found", and each is special. I'll keeping taking in those who need a home until I can't care for them any longer. My vet says he's never seen a happier bunch of cats!
Losing a pet is like losing a child, but kids ain't perfect!
Pets aren't perfect either....They do things they arent suppossed to do, but they learn.. just like kids do... which is soo hard to lose them...they're like a little kid.
Hi there:
The loss of a pet is very hard to deal with as it is the loss of a relative, best friend who was always there for you regardless. This is a deep void that time will only heal and your pet never gets forgotten
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I lost my beloved JR Bubba 2 years ago from cancerous tumor of the roof of his mouth and still feel the fact of him not being with me. Since so many dogs need homes, I rescued a wonderful little guy named Winston. He is precious but his former life was horrible being kept in a cage all day. He never leaves my side but does lack training and it's difficult for an older dog. I love him dearly as well as my other dog Pebbles who hates Winston. He just annoys her at mealtime and waits for a piece of food she drops to quickly consume. That's the only time they get into it so I seperate them and that helps. She is a very slow eater and Winston is finished in less then a minute.
Please consider your favorite breed rescue or the SPCA. You can never replace your loss but think of the life and love you can bring to another homeless pet. They're up there watching out for us and I know Bubba helped me find my dear Winston.
My prayers are with all pet lovers who have lost their best friend.
Sally
It is so odd when I read your story about Bubba. Our best friend was also named Bubba. He had a stroke at the age of 18 years of age and had to have him put to sleep. My Dad loved him as much as we love him and shortly after Bubba passed away, my Dad passed away also. I had no idea how I could surfive. One day my husband brought home a puppy and I started crying again. That little puppy craweld up to my chest, put her little legs around my neck, wiped my tears and then put her head on my heart. She is now 14 years old and everyday I worry that I won't lose her. She got me through the worst time in my life and she is my best friend just like Bubba.
My Black Lab, Shadow died on Jan 3rd, and it is very difficult to think about replacing her. I plan though to look for a new Lab in the Spring. Shadow was the most friendly and loving dog I have ever had the privilege to own.