The Bob Ross of Cat Massage Tells Us that Petting is Passé

By Paul Ciampanelli Aug 25th 2009

Of course there's nothing strange about pet massage in and of itself, but this may be the most insane video we've ever seen.

The unnamed, blissed out pet masseuse comes off like the Bob Ross of kitty massage. "'Remember the old Simon & Garfunkel song? 'Slow down, you're movin' too fast!' That says a lot about life and about cat massage." So true! What other nuggets of sage wisdom can cat massage teach us about our lives?

• "If you're right handed, use your right hand. Left handers, use left."
• "We touch all the time, so why not be the best at it? Like the touch of a fairy."
• "You can't fool drool!"

Yes, she seems a bit off her nut. Still, cat massage isn't necessarily a bad idea. The subtext here, though, seems to be that it will work out a lot better for you and your cat if you're both on prescription mood stabilizers to begin with. Bellyrama!